haiku 1


river flooded
the farmer crosses
on invisible stones


John McDonald




haiku 2


first rain
a red blush appears
on the strawberry


Maeve O'Sullivan




haiku 3


the dying sunflower
stares
into the teacup


John McDonald



shining almost as brightly
as tonight’s half moon –
solar-powered lamps


Maeve O'Sullivan



Walking the ridge,
Distant lakes come and go
Under summer cloud.


Neville Keery


haiku 4



conference call
the red geranium droops
along with me


Roberta Beary




Shoaling mackerel,
Splintered by the beaks
Of hungry terns.


Neville Keery




selected comments


about the winning haiku

 

This haiku presents a simple yet effective image of a farmer crossing a river using stepping stones which appear to be invisible to the poet or watcher
(I like that s/he doesn’t use the word “stepping” with “stones”, that would make it more mundane and diminish the hint of magic
which has been created and contributes to the haiku’s charm).

I also think that the vertical axis of the poem is very strong, i.e. the actual physical vertical axis (farmer-stones-river) and the “metaphysical” vertical axis.
I also like the fact that the poem contains three elements: air, water and stone.



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Although I hesitated, as this haiku is almost surreal/subjective at first reading, the impact gives emotion and possibly a "quasi-mystic" impression.
However, I feel this haiku couild also be rejected by some journals/reviewers. In a way it's a lesson that "risky" haiku (or on the edge) can win!




OTHER REVIEWS



Why I gave 5 points to:


first rain
a red blush appears
on the strawberry


because it is sensual, in the present moment, simple - the strawberry is a surprise at the end, but works. the mysterious pattern of nature revealed in a small thing


COMMENTS


Review of HAIKU #  13


This morning in the bathroom,
not welcome by daddy-long-legs ~
end of summer


While I think there is the germ of a potentially good haiku here, I don’t feel that it works for me in its current form. I found the poem a bit confusing: is it the end of summer that’s not welcome to the daddy-long-legs, or is it the poet who’s not welcome? I think 19 syllables is a little on the long side: is “this morning” in line one strictly necessary? I would think the time of year is more pertinent to the poem than the time of day. I think it might help if we knew whereabouts in the bathroom the spider is located. If he’s in the bath, why not have “in the bath” as line one, or equally “bathroom sink” or whatever. I believe that would strengthen the image.




Review of HAIKU #  7

shining almost as brightly
as tonight’s half moon –
solar-powered lamps


I did not give points to this one as I find it "too much". There is an accumulation of "shining elements" [shining-brightly-moon-solar-lamps].
and the opposition/contradiction (natural and electrical source of light) is almost cliched. However I accept there is a moment in this haiku but the way it is formulated makes it too "conventional"

Maybe something in this direction:


half moon
and solar lamps ~
Competing